Watch the video first:
The focus of the post is not the crazy pedophile who should be behind bars or executed. It's the reporter who goes up to him and starts acting all tough.
As you can see in the video, he's being asking the pedophile to stay back, when he himself seems to want to get close to him.
Then he also starts to tell him "I'm not a thirteen year old boy."
Perhaps I'm wrong, maybe the reporter was instructed and paid to question the child rapist like this.
But as far as I can see, the reporter seems to be enjoying this. He seems to be enjoying puffing out his chest and trying to intimidate the rapist. The point that when child rapists and others commit their crimes, there are people who seem to get a kick out of going to them and asking them intimidating questions.
I once saw a similar video on an American TV news report of a lawyer trying to be heroic and questioning the rapist in a similar matter.
It's almost as if these people want to use incidents like these as an opportunity to get all this attention and start acting heroic about.
Are people supposed to be impressed with the reporter? I feel that cases of pedophilia should also be noted for the reporters and others who almost seem to be waiting for the rapists to come out and play the role of the villain while they play the role of the hero.
All that was required was a police be dispatched to monitor the pedophiles and leave it there. Who knows there could be an incident where one of these 'heroic' reporters as seen in the video might end up getting hurt or even killed.
No point in allowing them to chase after such dangerous people. They could easily be armed with a gun or a knife.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The hypocriscy of judgemental people
I had a childhood friend over the other day and we got into an argument about problems in society and how to help and coming up with possible suggestions on how to solve them.
This friend of mine (well sort of) has had a history of being judgmental. Ever since childhood, he doesn't seem to have changed much.
He always has a sense of judging people and setting certain standards. Standards he can't normally meet. He always has a way of looking everything in a black and white sort of manner.
When we were discussing problems in society he threw all sorts of accusations my way as he always does. He claimed never suggest solutions for society unless you are willing to backup your solutions with physical effort.
He accused me of hypocrisy and my suggestions he insisted would be very little contribution to funding humanitarian projects that the idea itself is simply pointless.
I asked him then why he bothers throwing change to beggars who will run out of it within a day and go back to square one. He insists it's the least he can do for them.
He throws accusations at me of eating at restaurants and wasting money when there's food in the house and when people cannot even afford to buy a square meal, I am wasting my own money.
I asked him if he ever eats outside. His reply rarely. I asked if spending money unnecessarily is such a big deal, why does he have that expensive mac laptop on the desk.
Only a bit of pressuring and questioning by me resulted in him backing off, but of course he didn't admit his hypocrisy.
Next thing he's ranting all about me and how much effort I put in to help my parent running the house and how I live off my parents' earnings.
He might have a point, but I still do contribute such as taking out the waste, putting away the dishes in the dishwasher and taking them out when they're clean, shoveling the snow off our property in the winter time.
That's nothing he accused. I then asked him what he does to help his parents? I reminded him of his odd sleeping hours (I myself go through them sometimes) when I visit his house at six o clock in the evening and he's still asleep.
He insists he's changed since then, so I pressure him asking what he exactly does that is significant in contribution to his parents. And guess what his reply was. Taking out the garbage, cleaning the kitchen. ^_^
He also claimed that he gives his parents a hundred dollars a month which is a quarter of his income, but still really nothing.
The last thing he was babbling about was that planes have no authority to be in the sky and they are causing environmental damage. I asked how he ended up in North America all the way from Pakistan if it wasn't for planes. He claimed it was one trip and that a lot of pollution is caused by families going on holidays and global warming is caused by so many planes.
I asked him if he knew that Boeing is going out of it's way to produce planes that pollute far less and that airliners soon may have to pay emission taxes to the destinations they fly to.
And the fact that many if not most passengers use planes to fly for business and other necessary reasons which are not for pleasure.
He still wouldn't stop accusing planes. I asked why he then rides on cars and buses. He claimed rarely, I insisted rarely doesn't count and pointed out the fact that he used a bus to come to my house. ^_^
Our arguments spanned on a lot of topics, but in the end I realized all it took was some questioning and pressuring to show him he was being such a hypocrite.
And that's normally how judgmental people should be dealt with. When they throw accusations your way, all it takes is a bit of questioning, common sense and pressure to show them their hypocrisy.
Show them any sign of guilt at their accusations and they have won over you. Always be sure to pressure them when questioning them. If they hide the answers, then they obviously do the same or similar things they accuse you or others of. If they let out their answers, case closed.
This friend of mine (well sort of) has had a history of being judgmental. Ever since childhood, he doesn't seem to have changed much.
He always has a sense of judging people and setting certain standards. Standards he can't normally meet. He always has a way of looking everything in a black and white sort of manner.
When we were discussing problems in society he threw all sorts of accusations my way as he always does. He claimed never suggest solutions for society unless you are willing to backup your solutions with physical effort.
He accused me of hypocrisy and my suggestions he insisted would be very little contribution to funding humanitarian projects that the idea itself is simply pointless.
I asked him then why he bothers throwing change to beggars who will run out of it within a day and go back to square one. He insists it's the least he can do for them.
He throws accusations at me of eating at restaurants and wasting money when there's food in the house and when people cannot even afford to buy a square meal, I am wasting my own money.
I asked him if he ever eats outside. His reply rarely. I asked if spending money unnecessarily is such a big deal, why does he have that expensive mac laptop on the desk.
Only a bit of pressuring and questioning by me resulted in him backing off, but of course he didn't admit his hypocrisy.
Next thing he's ranting all about me and how much effort I put in to help my parent running the house and how I live off my parents' earnings.
He might have a point, but I still do contribute such as taking out the waste, putting away the dishes in the dishwasher and taking them out when they're clean, shoveling the snow off our property in the winter time.
That's nothing he accused. I then asked him what he does to help his parents? I reminded him of his odd sleeping hours (I myself go through them sometimes) when I visit his house at six o clock in the evening and he's still asleep.
He insists he's changed since then, so I pressure him asking what he exactly does that is significant in contribution to his parents. And guess what his reply was. Taking out the garbage, cleaning the kitchen. ^_^
He also claimed that he gives his parents a hundred dollars a month which is a quarter of his income, but still really nothing.
The last thing he was babbling about was that planes have no authority to be in the sky and they are causing environmental damage. I asked how he ended up in North America all the way from Pakistan if it wasn't for planes. He claimed it was one trip and that a lot of pollution is caused by families going on holidays and global warming is caused by so many planes.
I asked him if he knew that Boeing is going out of it's way to produce planes that pollute far less and that airliners soon may have to pay emission taxes to the destinations they fly to.
And the fact that many if not most passengers use planes to fly for business and other necessary reasons which are not for pleasure.
He still wouldn't stop accusing planes. I asked why he then rides on cars and buses. He claimed rarely, I insisted rarely doesn't count and pointed out the fact that he used a bus to come to my house. ^_^
Our arguments spanned on a lot of topics, but in the end I realized all it took was some questioning and pressuring to show him he was being such a hypocrite.
And that's normally how judgmental people should be dealt with. When they throw accusations your way, all it takes is a bit of questioning, common sense and pressure to show them their hypocrisy.
Show them any sign of guilt at their accusations and they have won over you. Always be sure to pressure them when questioning them. If they hide the answers, then they obviously do the same or similar things they accuse you or others of. If they let out their answers, case closed.
My rant on smart ass people
I've read, heard and saw a video on the subject with other people's opinions on it so I thought of sharing my own opinions.
From my experience, smart ass people always have a sense of overconfidence. Whenever they argue with others and try to outsmart everyone else, they are always with full confidence as if they could never be wrong.
Then they also have this arrogant attitude. This attitude of always being calm, sometimes humorous no matter what the subject is they are discussing and pretending to know everything about.
Smart asses also try to make you feel insecure about your knowledge on the subject. You are made to feel that you are stupid and you know nothing and the smart ass does.
Smart asses also "play with words" which is basically twisting every word or verbal challenge you throw at them and twist them around to make your arguments and/or challenges look stupid.
Smart ass people also never admit their wrong, even when I throw the truth right in front of their face, they say no.
As an example, I know this guy who is a smart ass. He more or less fits the description of the typical smart ass I have described above.
He insisted that the establishment of the state of Pakistani forced his maternal grandmother's family to move out of Bombay.
Even though his maternal grandmother insisted her father moved the family to Pakistan in search of opportunity right in front of both of us, right to his face, he blatantly refuses to believe it.
That's how stupid he looked in front himself, me and his maternal grandmother. The best solution to smart asses is to not argue with them or give them any sort of special attention.
Just laugh in their face or be sarcastic to their comments. Anything they say, it's important you do not respond with any sort of emotion. It only gives them the impression they can annoy you or 'outsmarted' you.
From my experience, smart ass people always have a sense of overconfidence. Whenever they argue with others and try to outsmart everyone else, they are always with full confidence as if they could never be wrong.
Then they also have this arrogant attitude. This attitude of always being calm, sometimes humorous no matter what the subject is they are discussing and pretending to know everything about.
Smart asses also try to make you feel insecure about your knowledge on the subject. You are made to feel that you are stupid and you know nothing and the smart ass does.
Smart asses also "play with words" which is basically twisting every word or verbal challenge you throw at them and twist them around to make your arguments and/or challenges look stupid.
Smart ass people also never admit their wrong, even when I throw the truth right in front of their face, they say no.
As an example, I know this guy who is a smart ass. He more or less fits the description of the typical smart ass I have described above.
He insisted that the establishment of the state of Pakistani forced his maternal grandmother's family to move out of Bombay.
Even though his maternal grandmother insisted her father moved the family to Pakistan in search of opportunity right in front of both of us, right to his face, he blatantly refuses to believe it.
That's how stupid he looked in front himself, me and his maternal grandmother. The best solution to smart asses is to not argue with them or give them any sort of special attention.
Just laugh in their face or be sarcastic to their comments. Anything they say, it's important you do not respond with any sort of emotion. It only gives them the impression they can annoy you or 'outsmarted' you.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The law is unfair
Watch the video first:
Anyone who has lived in North America long enough knows the behavior of teens can be unbearable. When I attended high school in Canada, I saw the same behavior teens show towards more vulnerable targets like teachers and others.
Seeing the bus driver's reaction on the camera it's only natural for him to react that way. What's more is the teen refused to move up the bus when told to do so. How else do you remove a person when he/she refuses to move?
The bus drivers mistake was responding physically to the teen's provocation. He could have threatened to call the police. Whatever his mistake was he received a harsh punishment for it. At the most he should have been given a criminal record, while the children who provoked and fought with him been given a ban from any form of public transport.
It's clear they have no sense of proper conduct when using a public facility.
But of course since the bus driver happened to be the adult, he got the prison sentence. Had the teens and bus driver switched places, the teens would have been given the light sentence even though their age group are the more aggressive ones.
The poor bus driver works in a difficult position and was given too much of a harsh punishment for his reaction.
I understand some bus drivers can be rude and arrogant, but this poor man definitely was not one of them.
The video below is of a bus driver refusing to let a teen off the bus and getting assaulted for it. By law, the driver cannot be letting off a person under eighteen or else she should be responsible for it.
The laws need to be reformed to prevent such incidents from continuing:
Anyone who has lived in North America long enough knows the behavior of teens can be unbearable. When I attended high school in Canada, I saw the same behavior teens show towards more vulnerable targets like teachers and others.
Seeing the bus driver's reaction on the camera it's only natural for him to react that way. What's more is the teen refused to move up the bus when told to do so. How else do you remove a person when he/she refuses to move?
The bus drivers mistake was responding physically to the teen's provocation. He could have threatened to call the police. Whatever his mistake was he received a harsh punishment for it. At the most he should have been given a criminal record, while the children who provoked and fought with him been given a ban from any form of public transport.
It's clear they have no sense of proper conduct when using a public facility.
But of course since the bus driver happened to be the adult, he got the prison sentence. Had the teens and bus driver switched places, the teens would have been given the light sentence even though their age group are the more aggressive ones.
The poor bus driver works in a difficult position and was given too much of a harsh punishment for his reaction.
I understand some bus drivers can be rude and arrogant, but this poor man definitely was not one of them.
The video below is of a bus driver refusing to let a teen off the bus and getting assaulted for it. By law, the driver cannot be letting off a person under eighteen or else she should be responsible for it.
The laws need to be reformed to prevent such incidents from continuing:
Saturday, April 24, 2010
My experience with cyber trolls and how they work.
Being a regular member on several forums, (though not as much anymore) I've come across several instances of rude and sarcastic forum members.
Some of them have a clever tactic of provoking me or other members without breaking forum rules (ie. cursing or swearing).
Opposite most other peoples experiences, cyber trolls in my experience are usually newcomers to the forums. Some of them try to give you orders on how to post on the forum which is laughable especially coming from these newcomers.
Others take comments by you and twist them around in an attempt to defame you and play the victim themselves.
The silence of other forum members towards their behavior is what their strength on the forum relies on.
Once they get too overconfident in their behavior, they try to get 'smart' with other forum members as well- and that is the time to jump in and gang up on them.
That is the way the bully works in real life and cyberspace, the silence of others and attacking people on an individual basis, never a group of closely associated friends.
Some of them have a clever tactic of provoking me or other members without breaking forum rules (ie. cursing or swearing).
Opposite most other peoples experiences, cyber trolls in my experience are usually newcomers to the forums. Some of them try to give you orders on how to post on the forum which is laughable especially coming from these newcomers.
Others take comments by you and twist them around in an attempt to defame you and play the victim themselves.
The silence of other forum members towards their behavior is what their strength on the forum relies on.
Once they get too overconfident in their behavior, they try to get 'smart' with other forum members as well- and that is the time to jump in and gang up on them.
That is the way the bully works in real life and cyberspace, the silence of others and attacking people on an individual basis, never a group of closely associated friends.
The sense of freedom and authoritarianism in first world countries
Living in North America for almost ten years now, I have come across countless experiences where people don't miss an opportunity to be rude/hostile/impolite or display a sense of authoritarianism.
After experiencing it for almost a decade now, I've come to the conclusion it's the freedoms and protections that first world societies offer, allowing people to safely be rude or arrogant.
As an example I was at a party which also was a sort of political gathering. I thought the political discussion would make an interesting video. And so I decided to film them. Nobody seemed to mind anyway. But all of a sudden an Iranian national asked "Why are you filming!?! Did you ask these people!?!"
We got into a small argument but he arrogantly said "this is Canada sorry you can't do this here, it's against the law."
I agreed to delete the footage, but I pleaded to let me keep the footage of people raising their wine glasses in toast to freedom and justice.
He objected despite my pleas and asked "How old are you?" 20 was my reply. "Do you go to school?" Collage was my answer "Ask your teachers- it's immoral" was his reply.
He was getting into the boundaries of personal attack.
He also had this strange urge to keep mentioning his son and comparing him to me. Started to tell me that his son also has a hobby of posting videos on the internet. I curiously asked what was his user name.
He gave a strong reply "I would never tell you that."
This is a strange reply especially after he asked me my age and asked if I attend school. His rudeness reappeared when I tried to convince him it was just personal curiosity.
Now imagine if he had done this in Iran, used personal attacks or similar taunts that he used on me. The chance of him getting hurt or facing physical retaliation would have little consequence. Knowing that he was fully protected by the law, he had a sense of freedom to speak the way he did.
A similar story was heard at a restaurant I frequently eat at. It was owned by an Indian and his Ukrainian wife. Their Bangladeshi chef was giving them a hard time and kept repeating "this is Canada, you cannot do anything to me here. This is not India or Ukraine."
This sounds much of an echo I had with the Iranian national and his sense of arrogance. This arrogance I have met in North America on a regular basis weather a rude bus driver or shopkeeper or regular people.
At first I felt as if I was the only one seeing this. However, after hearing several mentions of rude TTC operators at school and reading about TTC rows, I've come to realize it's the legal protection that first world countries are able to provide to citizens.
Imagine if such people tried their rude and aggressive behavior in their home countries? I cannot imagine in Pakistan anyone being able to act rudely without getting beaten up. The law does not intervene in minor cases of assault except if the injuries become too serious.
One of the worst instances happened in 2009 at another restaurant, when I got up to request a hot chocolate from the waitress who was far behind the second counter, I was greeted with an angry scold. "You're NOT allowed here!" she scowled as if I had just committed a crime.
Instead of simply saying sorry this is a restricted area or sorry employees only. I replied "...well sorry but I just came to ask for the hot chocolate. I couldn't find you anywhere and I was waiting quite a while."
"Okay, you're NOT allowed here!" was her sharp reply followed by a harsh look and a red face with red eyes. I went back to my table feeling guilty at first thinking I had done something wrong. The waitress came soon and dumped the hot chocolate on my table.
But after wondering what I had done wrong to trigger such a harsh and rude reaction; I realized I had nothing to be blamed for. The waitress seemed to have no sense on how to address a customer who happened to be at the wrong place.
Later when I ordered the bill, it too was brought without any tray and just dumped on the table. Now I was getting the sense that she's deliberately giving me the "cold shoulder" and that the incident behind the counter was also a part of all this.
I decided I would leave without paying any tips. So I waited for my bill and payment to be collected. But this did not happen. The clock was ticking. Twenty five minutes went by and my bill and payment weren't collected. Now I was the only person left in the restaurant.
By this time I was starting to get annoyed. First a rude "you're not allowed here" with a scowling red face & eyes. Then my hot chocolate and bill get dumped on my table. Now a 25 minutes wait.
After recalling all the instances where I have experienced rudeness in Canadian society weather a rude bus driver or TTC authority or regular people on the street who think the law is there to protect them (which I shall further discuss below), I decided I wasn't going to put up with it. Not this time. I had just about enough of sitting like a weak puppy and taking all the rudeness.
I took my payment to the counter and gave the amount and got back my change with the waitress wondering why I haven't left anything. I asked how long it takes to collect one bill. Her face just shoots up with an angry glare "AM I YOU'RE SLAVE?!?" "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU NEEDED CHANGE?" "AM I SUPPOSED TO READ YOUR MIND?"
My temper further heated at such a rude reaction and so we got into an argument. All of a sudden she screamed the chef's name as if I was going to stab her with a knife. She screamed for him loudly. She ran down to the basement for him. Chef came with her and tried to calm her down and gave the expression like it's happened before.
It went on for a few minutes. I try several times for a compromise, but she had completely lost it. She continued "I am you're slave- that's what you think of women!" Her true arrogant and authoritarian colors showed when she screamed "you know what I don't like you just go JUST GET OUT OF HERE!!!"
As if she owns the restaurant! Her tactic of acting as if I physically hurt her was also interesting.
It was rather bizarre since I'm a regular customer and always pay my tips and say please and thank you when placing orders. I even have frequent chats with the chef and sometimes the waitress. Heck I even once got a free hot chocolate since I was a regular customer.
However it still did not seem to justify the rudeness and arrogance of the waitress. That night I did not recognize her, nor did she act as if she recognized me.
I informed the manager of the incident and he explained that she's a very sensitive person. He apologized and promised to speak to her claiming she'll understand him when he talks to her.
A sensitive person? Working in a public service sector? The waitress was Philippino. Imagine if she displayed such behavior in a restaurant in the Philippines. I doubt she would last very long. Philippines is a country which has thousands perhaps millions of people looking for jobs.
If she was fired, there would be hundreds waiting to take her place. To avoid poor customer relations, the restaurant owners would have sacked her at first hand had this happened in the Philippines.
Canada on the other hand with a population of just between thirty three to thirty four million, offers no such option of firing a badly behaved employee when skilled people are difficult to find.
Other instances of rudeness I've experienced in the past nine years of being in North America are rude bus drivers. I did not know I required an ID to go with an adult monthly pass. The bus driver would arrogantly tell me "I can just take away that pass from you if you don't carry ID."
The worst was when I visited Canada the second time before living there. Me and a couple of friends were waiting for a bus and accidentally happened to be stepping on a bit of grass in front of somebody's house.
All of a sudden a guy with long blond hair screams "EXCUSE ME GET OFF THAT GRASS RIGHT NOW IT'S NOT YOUR PROPERTY IT'S MY FRIEND'S he doesn't like it."
Back in 2004, I was at the cinema with a friend and the movie hadn't started with all the the commercials coming. My friend was having a chat on his cellphone when an angry individual in front with his girlfriend complained that he couldn't hear the commercials and told my friend to turn off the phone.
My friend told him he'll just be a minute. The angry guy got up and showed his tattooed muscles and screamed "I'LL PICK YOU UP AND THROW YOU OFF THE F***ING THEATER."
Though my friend should not have had his phone on in the first place, such an aggressive response was unjustified. He could have simply warned my friend that he'll call security. Imagine if he had tried that in Pakistan. His muscles would have been punctured straight out, with the authorities not the least bit concerned.
Ever since these kind of incidents, I have changed and always put up a fight when it comes to arrogant people- including recent immigrants who think they've gained the freedom to behave rudely under the protection of the law in a first world society.
Those who have had similar experiences should never hesitate to stand up to these people. There are reasons:
-Once you stand up a few times such as I did, you'll never hesitate again after gaining the confidence that I did.
-These arrogant people will give up their pride and feel discouraged once they realise their behavior won't be put up with.
-Their tactics of playing the victim like the waitress did will give you experience on how to deal with them and also show them they cannot scare people into backing down.
The whole time I had the impression there was something wrong with people in public service, but now after hearing and reading of countless incidents, it proves it's not me, but something really wrong with North American society.
Below are famous videos. One of a TTC fare collector taking a nap on the job and the other taking a long coffee break in the middle of a bus ride.
Even after the incident with the waitress, I did some searching on the net to learn it's a common problem with rude & arrogant people in customer service and daily life who feel too confident behind the safety of protective laws in first world countries.
After experiencing it for almost a decade now, I've come to the conclusion it's the freedoms and protections that first world societies offer, allowing people to safely be rude or arrogant.
As an example I was at a party which also was a sort of political gathering. I thought the political discussion would make an interesting video. And so I decided to film them. Nobody seemed to mind anyway. But all of a sudden an Iranian national asked "Why are you filming!?! Did you ask these people!?!"
We got into a small argument but he arrogantly said "this is Canada sorry you can't do this here, it's against the law."
I agreed to delete the footage, but I pleaded to let me keep the footage of people raising their wine glasses in toast to freedom and justice.
He objected despite my pleas and asked "How old are you?" 20 was my reply. "Do you go to school?" Collage was my answer "Ask your teachers- it's immoral" was his reply.
He was getting into the boundaries of personal attack.
He also had this strange urge to keep mentioning his son and comparing him to me. Started to tell me that his son also has a hobby of posting videos on the internet. I curiously asked what was his user name.
He gave a strong reply "I would never tell you that."
This is a strange reply especially after he asked me my age and asked if I attend school. His rudeness reappeared when I tried to convince him it was just personal curiosity.
Now imagine if he had done this in Iran, used personal attacks or similar taunts that he used on me. The chance of him getting hurt or facing physical retaliation would have little consequence. Knowing that he was fully protected by the law, he had a sense of freedom to speak the way he did.
A similar story was heard at a restaurant I frequently eat at. It was owned by an Indian and his Ukrainian wife. Their Bangladeshi chef was giving them a hard time and kept repeating "this is Canada, you cannot do anything to me here. This is not India or Ukraine."
This sounds much of an echo I had with the Iranian national and his sense of arrogance. This arrogance I have met in North America on a regular basis weather a rude bus driver or shopkeeper or regular people.
At first I felt as if I was the only one seeing this. However, after hearing several mentions of rude TTC operators at school and reading about TTC rows, I've come to realize it's the legal protection that first world countries are able to provide to citizens.
Imagine if such people tried their rude and aggressive behavior in their home countries? I cannot imagine in Pakistan anyone being able to act rudely without getting beaten up. The law does not intervene in minor cases of assault except if the injuries become too serious.
One of the worst instances happened in 2009 at another restaurant, when I got up to request a hot chocolate from the waitress who was far behind the second counter, I was greeted with an angry scold. "You're NOT allowed here!" she scowled as if I had just committed a crime.
Instead of simply saying sorry this is a restricted area or sorry employees only. I replied "...well sorry but I just came to ask for the hot chocolate. I couldn't find you anywhere and I was waiting quite a while."
"Okay, you're NOT allowed here!" was her sharp reply followed by a harsh look and a red face with red eyes. I went back to my table feeling guilty at first thinking I had done something wrong. The waitress came soon and dumped the hot chocolate on my table.
But after wondering what I had done wrong to trigger such a harsh and rude reaction; I realized I had nothing to be blamed for. The waitress seemed to have no sense on how to address a customer who happened to be at the wrong place.
Later when I ordered the bill, it too was brought without any tray and just dumped on the table. Now I was getting the sense that she's deliberately giving me the "cold shoulder" and that the incident behind the counter was also a part of all this.
I decided I would leave without paying any tips. So I waited for my bill and payment to be collected. But this did not happen. The clock was ticking. Twenty five minutes went by and my bill and payment weren't collected. Now I was the only person left in the restaurant.
By this time I was starting to get annoyed. First a rude "you're not allowed here" with a scowling red face & eyes. Then my hot chocolate and bill get dumped on my table. Now a 25 minutes wait.
After recalling all the instances where I have experienced rudeness in Canadian society weather a rude bus driver or TTC authority or regular people on the street who think the law is there to protect them (which I shall further discuss below), I decided I wasn't going to put up with it. Not this time. I had just about enough of sitting like a weak puppy and taking all the rudeness.
I took my payment to the counter and gave the amount and got back my change with the waitress wondering why I haven't left anything. I asked how long it takes to collect one bill. Her face just shoots up with an angry glare "AM I YOU'RE SLAVE?!?" "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU NEEDED CHANGE?" "AM I SUPPOSED TO READ YOUR MIND?"
My temper further heated at such a rude reaction and so we got into an argument. All of a sudden she screamed the chef's name as if I was going to stab her with a knife. She screamed for him loudly. She ran down to the basement for him. Chef came with her and tried to calm her down and gave the expression like it's happened before.
It went on for a few minutes. I try several times for a compromise, but she had completely lost it. She continued "I am you're slave- that's what you think of women!" Her true arrogant and authoritarian colors showed when she screamed "you know what I don't like you just go JUST GET OUT OF HERE!!!"
As if she owns the restaurant! Her tactic of acting as if I physically hurt her was also interesting.
It was rather bizarre since I'm a regular customer and always pay my tips and say please and thank you when placing orders. I even have frequent chats with the chef and sometimes the waitress. Heck I even once got a free hot chocolate since I was a regular customer.
However it still did not seem to justify the rudeness and arrogance of the waitress. That night I did not recognize her, nor did she act as if she recognized me.
I informed the manager of the incident and he explained that she's a very sensitive person. He apologized and promised to speak to her claiming she'll understand him when he talks to her.
A sensitive person? Working in a public service sector? The waitress was Philippino. Imagine if she displayed such behavior in a restaurant in the Philippines. I doubt she would last very long. Philippines is a country which has thousands perhaps millions of people looking for jobs.
If she was fired, there would be hundreds waiting to take her place. To avoid poor customer relations, the restaurant owners would have sacked her at first hand had this happened in the Philippines.
Canada on the other hand with a population of just between thirty three to thirty four million, offers no such option of firing a badly behaved employee when skilled people are difficult to find.
Other instances of rudeness I've experienced in the past nine years of being in North America are rude bus drivers. I did not know I required an ID to go with an adult monthly pass. The bus driver would arrogantly tell me "I can just take away that pass from you if you don't carry ID."
The worst was when I visited Canada the second time before living there. Me and a couple of friends were waiting for a bus and accidentally happened to be stepping on a bit of grass in front of somebody's house.
All of a sudden a guy with long blond hair screams "EXCUSE ME GET OFF THAT GRASS RIGHT NOW IT'S NOT YOUR PROPERTY IT'S MY FRIEND'S he doesn't like it."
Back in 2004, I was at the cinema with a friend and the movie hadn't started with all the the commercials coming. My friend was having a chat on his cellphone when an angry individual in front with his girlfriend complained that he couldn't hear the commercials and told my friend to turn off the phone.
My friend told him he'll just be a minute. The angry guy got up and showed his tattooed muscles and screamed "I'LL PICK YOU UP AND THROW YOU OFF THE F***ING THEATER."
Though my friend should not have had his phone on in the first place, such an aggressive response was unjustified. He could have simply warned my friend that he'll call security. Imagine if he had tried that in Pakistan. His muscles would have been punctured straight out, with the authorities not the least bit concerned.
Ever since these kind of incidents, I have changed and always put up a fight when it comes to arrogant people- including recent immigrants who think they've gained the freedom to behave rudely under the protection of the law in a first world society.
Those who have had similar experiences should never hesitate to stand up to these people. There are reasons:
-Once you stand up a few times such as I did, you'll never hesitate again after gaining the confidence that I did.
-These arrogant people will give up their pride and feel discouraged once they realise their behavior won't be put up with.
-Their tactics of playing the victim like the waitress did will give you experience on how to deal with them and also show them they cannot scare people into backing down.
The whole time I had the impression there was something wrong with people in public service, but now after hearing and reading of countless incidents, it proves it's not me, but something really wrong with North American society.
Below are famous videos. One of a TTC fare collector taking a nap on the job and the other taking a long coffee break in the middle of a bus ride.
Even after the incident with the waitress, I did some searching on the net to learn it's a common problem with rude & arrogant people in customer service and daily life who feel too confident behind the safety of protective laws in first world countries.
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